Battle Royale

Not in the mood for movies, and in fact, Saturday was kind of a bummer for me until I got my Netflix discs. At the recommendation of a coworker, I watched “Battle Royale” and I was significantly impressed by this modern day version of “Lord of the Flies.” Now, we can’t see every movie that comes out or we will never do anything else with our lives … and it’s true that a lot of great things fly under the radar or we just ignore it (the summer of the great Star Wars floppogy I missed “Batman Begins” because I was just too annoyed to go back to a movie theater for six months.)

Battle Royale is the story of Japan, after an economic collapse, loses control of the youth of the country. In order to regain it, classes are taken to an island, fixed with exploding collars around their necks, and told that in 3 days only one will survive … or they will all die. Sure, there is a lot of gratuitous violence, but not the “Saw” movie kind. In fact, I couldn’t think of a scene in the film that seemed over the top.



From the beginning to the end of the film we seem to know what is going to happen, and yet the ending is confusing (if not made more so by the added “dreams” of specific characters as a coda.) But, what I can say is that I wasn’t bored.

The Dark Knight - WHY SO SERIOUS?

Really, there is no way to review this movie as “best comic book movie ever” because it really stepped right out of the comic book realm. I’ve seen this many times now and … well, let’s just say “Batman Begins” left me speechless, “the Dark Knight” leaves me feeling deeply humiliated for all other writers and directors who aren’t named Nolan. Really, come on … this is what Batman has always been about. No super powers, only psychosis which, sadly, breeds psychosis.

The Joker (played far too well for Heath Ledgers ultimate health) is a manifestation of the Dark Knight’s own philosophy. The Joker appears in Batman’s wake and, as he himself says, he is an agent of chaos. He doesn’t care about crime or a plan; he just wants to do insane things. He is honest in that respect and, in a way, at least to the criminal class of Gotham city; he’s just as bad as the Batman.



This movie is still so deeply disturbing that I find it rather hard to describe my feelings, apart from the mere fact that I haven’t walked out of a movie theater feeling like I’d really seen something truly amazing in YEARS. This is not just the best super hero movie ever … it might be one of the best movies ever made.

This is not a review; this is merely a statement of fact.

Noise, Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk

Return of the media monster blog

OK, I’m no critic. Those who can’t create, criticize. But, I do create, but I do have opinions. I’m going to once again attempt to keep up with pop culture in my own obscurest way.



Noise - Tim Robbins stars as a guy living in New York city fighting noise pollution (car alarms particularly annoy him) and he becomes a vigilante called the Rectifier. What I really liked about this quirky movie was the resolution. It isn’t exactly fun all the way through -- his life turns to garbage, Robbins is stoic if not almost dead through the entire thing, and there is a lot of questionably strange activity going on with the younger female stars -- but the ending is worth the watching.



Iron Man - Yes, this is months old but it really was one of the great summer movies. Marvel comics is now making their own films and this one, which really shouldn’t have been very good at all, became my (OK, second) MUST SEE movie the minute I heard Robert Downy Jr. would be playing Tony Stark. As everyone in the critic world has said, Downy Jr. is pretty much Tony Stark in real life … at least the party playboy part. Instantly, you don’t really need much back story. You know this guy and you see his transformation from arms manufacturer to super hero and you feel the change. Jeff Bridges, daringly shaving that incredible head of hair, is an interesting villain adding yet another layer of acting grit to this very good mixture of story structure. Admittedly, the final robot battle was the same old stuff we’ve seen in all Marvel films. Flashy, chaotic, almost impossible to follow, but it doesn’t matter. The tag ending with Sam Jackson turning up as Nick Fury to put together the Avengers team is like that little piece of ice cream on a wonderful cake.



The Incredible Hulk - Personally, I’m one of the few people that will admit to two things that are not popular opinions. 1. I actually liked Ang Lee’s Hulk and 2. I don’t think Ed Norton is that great an actor. He certainly doesn’t have much going on as Banner. Oh, and I never even liked the Hulk, anyway, so I was already in a big corner when I watched this film. Unlike Iron Man, Norton just comes off as an unsympathetic, disaffected prick as Banner and that’s sad. Bixby, in the TV series, was what held that show together. His acting and the feeling of his plight carried the show. Norton seems like some wise ass running from a bunch of cartoon characters. The Hulk’s appearance in this version is actually less affective than Lee’s Hulk, so that’s not so great, either. The only thing that I loved was the end … when Downy Jr. turns up to say “we’re putting a team together.” Again, all leading to an Avengers movie.

Life on Mars ... ABC

Just looking at this picture makes my stomach turn.




One of the worst things we do in this country is take a show that doesn't need a remake (ie, cause its like ... not American ... and stuff ... derp) ... and remake it. I know a lot of you think the American version of "The Office" is a great show (and a lot of you are wrong) ... but really, why do we need to remake shows that are already made? What is it about this culture that makes us believe that we are soooo different than the UK? The accents? And, frankly, how does anyone propose to make a series that only lasted 16 episodes over 2 years ... run for 24 episodes a year?

This really is going to be terrible. The real shame is that this has delayed a US release of the British series on DVD.

Lost – “The Shape of Things to Come”

10/10 – WTF !?!?!?

Seriously, this show is just insane now and hasn’t yet jumped the shark. After a month off, we get right back into the story without much delay. I won’t even try to catch up with that plot. “Lost” has truly proven that American television can do anything if it chooses.

Right from the opening, we are constantly provoked and prodded with both answers to old questions and even more bizarre new puzzles. We learn why Sayid is working for Ben in the future, but now Ben appears to be quite a bit more powerful than we had previously been lead to believe.



Last years “flash forward” trick is now standard in the show and one of the most bizarre “WTF” moments I’ve ever experienced was seeing Ben wake up in the desert (as if he teleported there … no footprints in the sand, etc.) The attack on the compound and the smoke monster sequences are quite amazing in everyway possible.



Frankly, though we do get a few more episodes, it will be hard not having this show to look forward to for the long period between seasons.

Doctor Who – “The Sontaran Stratagem”

4/10 – where’s his sonic lipstick?

Depressingly, the series is still looking cheap and the return of the classic Sontarans was not handled at all well. Helen Rayner, who last year turned in a weak script bloated with massive effects, seems to have turned in a decent idea only to be terribly let down by a low-budget. So far, the sets look like a warehouse and … a school … and a little room somewhere with cheap “old series” looking buttons. I’m a fan of the old series, but here’s the thing … you can’t have a wizbang plot AND a low budget.

A young genius called Luke Rattigan is working with the Sontarans by using their technology to devise a device called Atmos, which makes a car carbon-free and functions as a Sat Nav. However, 52 deaths across the world occur simultaneously when Atmos takes control of several cars. The Doctor receives a call from UNIT employee and former companion Martha Jones, who is now engaged to Tom Milligan. The Time Lord and Donna head to Earth and meet Colonel Mace, who is spearheading a raid on an Atmos factory.

Immediatley, boy genius is always a bad start. Just really … seriously … Adric … we hate the boy genius thing. Then there is UNIT, which should be a welcome reunion, but in truth UNIT now has nothing to do with the past and was really just pushed up as an idea to a.) keep Martha in the picture until she (probably) joins Torchwood in the 3rd series or b.) just some soldiers for the Sontarans to kill …. Probably both.

So far no real care has been taken with these mid-season 2-parters. The Cybermen were poorly handled and the Daleks were shoved into a King Kong homage. The Sontarans appear to be in a Kroft special or “The Sarah Jane Adventures.”

I’m reading various reviews and I seem to be in the minority. There were some fun moments, but the gravity of the situation (excuse the pun) didn't really sink in ... I hope part 2 will be better and someone is saving this cash for a big ending.

Blake's 7 is Coming Back

April 24, 2008

Blake's 7 set to wobble its way back to television screens



Adam Sherwin, Media Correspondent
Science fiction fans can celebrate the revival of a famous cult hit after plans to revive the BBC series Blake’s 7 were announced.

The space-set saga, which ran from 1978 to 1981, was praised for its dark storylines and gained an international following. After years of lobbying by fans, the success of Doctor Who and complex sci-fi series such as Battlestar Galactica has prompted a remake.

The new Blake’s 7 will fly on Sky One after the satellite broadcaster asked the rightsholders of Terry Nation’s creation to develop a fresh series.

The BBC show followed the exploits of Roj Blake as he led a band of reluctant rebels against the totalitarian Federation, which ruled the galaxy.

Launched in the wake of Star Wars’ success, Blake’s 7 challenged viewer expectations with its cynical characters, who were eventually massacred in a shoot-out.

Blake 7 Productions will now have the technology to create the epic space battles which were constrained by the BBC’s budgetary demands in the late 70s.

Producers have mapped out a six-part series reviving Blake, his self-serving lieutenant Avon, Servalan, the ruthless Supreme Commander, and the show’s other fondly-remembered characters.

Although the UK audience will be limited to Sky subscribers, the series will be sold to international broadcasters - the original was shown in 40 territories. The Blake’s 7 brand also has significant potential for programme downloads and DVD sales.

Elaine Pyke, Sky One commissioning editor, told Broadcast: “At a time when science fiction shows often discard good storytellng for overblown visual effects and following the lead of Doctor Who and Battlestar Galactica, the time is ripe for a revival of a show that represents the best traditions of the genre.”

Sky is seeking a show to replace Galactica, praised as a complex allegory about US foreign policy intervention, but which has begun its final series.

The BBC will challenge the revival with a new sci-fi show that echoes Blake’s 7. Outcasts follows the race to find an alternative home to Earth in the Universe. In return for their liberty, a group of social misfits and criminals become the pioneers of a large new settlement on a near planet.

In Blake’s 7, Blake is a political dissident who escapes deportation to a remote planet by forming a gang of reluctant rebels, who include a smuggler and a thief.

Russell T Davies’s popular reinvention of Doctor Who convinced broadcasters that sci-fi was no longer the province of geeks. Life On Mars, with its time-travel scenario, continued the trend.

Doctor Who - “Planet of the Ood”

4/10 – OK, seriously, when is the series actually going to start …

There is something desperately wrong with the 4th season of Doctor Who. Some might blame Catherine Tate as Donna, others the writer Russell T. Davies, but I’m not so sure. I think they’ve stretched themselves too thin. For one thing, the new season has lacked a lot of the slick luster previous series have had and look a bit more like the children’s “Sarah Jane Adventures.” Quite frankly, maybe two spin-offs is slightly too distracting from the original? Who cares about Torchwood’s great ratings? They are miniscule by comparison to Doctor Who … even in America!

Then there is the story telling. The seasons have a predictability to them that has now gotten a bit annoying. Episode 2 always has to be an historical, while the future shows always revolve around something we’ve previously seen. The only chances the season takes are towards its gallop to the half-assed story-arc ending.

Planet of the Ood. Well, where to begin? Oh, why not the Ood themselves? They aren’t anything interesting, apart from a good creature design. But, that doesn’t matter since we’ve seen enough farting aliens – oh please, one more f’ing Slitheen story, preferably on New Earth -- in the last few years to make us grateful for anything else. The story, while on its very obvious surface, is a simple metaphor for slavery, basically goes no place and ends no place. It felt nice, but bored me.





And, next week we get the mid-season old monster 2-parter with the Sontarans … and I dearly hope they haven’t ruined them the same way they did with the Cybermen (my official favorite classic monster) … But, if they can do it, they will find a way. Perhaps farting Sontarans … all in unison, since they are a clone race.

Basically, where once I was hopeful, now my enthusiasm is sinking fast …

Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead

4/10 – Trust me, he knows …

Two brothers (Ethan Hawke and Philip Seymour Hoffman) are both in some financial trouble and decide to knock over their own parent’s jewelry store, but chaos ensues when the robbery goes wrong and their mother is killed. Much hailed in critical circles, I’m going against the grain here and saying that “Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead” is really quite poor. The now cliché “Pulp Fiction” style of jump-cut narrative is not innovative or new anymore and could only be seen as clever by the incredibly stupid. Let’s face it, once you’ve seen a trick, seeing it again and again isn’t as good.

Also, though it’s nice to see Ethan Hawke return, Philip Seymour Hoffman is one of the most overrated actors in the business. He does some character roles really well, but most of the time the fat obnoxious guy he plays isn’t very satisfactory. Albert Finney, another of the overrated genre and Marisa (I’m not too old to be naked) Tomei, complete an otherwise disinterested cast in this pathetic family melodrama. In fact, that is the very point of what drove me nuts about this film: the characters are all completely disconnected from each other … even when they are not supposed to be. Its as if the actors all got in some fight and decided not to look at each other throughout filming.

Basically, rent it if you have to.

P2

1/10 – move along, nothing to see here ….

Rarely do I see a film that I can honestly, without any sense of reluctance, say has no redeeming value what-so-ever. P2, the latest in the psycho-kidnapper genre is probably the dumbest film I’ve seen in a long, long time. Its essential crime against cinema doesn’t lay in the fact that it is somehow repulsive, just endlessly dull and repetitive.

OK, so you know if you are watching a horror film, you are going to get the usual “Saw” type terror scenes with the main characters in distress, etc., with some clever object lesson or point. P2 does not deliver anything essential or new.

It is, quite simply, the story of a woman working late at the office and being kidnapped and held hostage (rather elaborately) by the night-duty security guard on Christmas Eve. That’s it. She kills him and escapes in the end.

Breach

Chris Cooper plays infamous spy Robert Hanssen, an agent convicted of spying for the Soviet Union (and, after the collapse of the Soviet Union, Russia) for 15 years. His arrest in 2001 sent a shockwave through the intelligence community. The film is subtle and accurately portrays his uncovering by an upstart FBI operative working cover. The full extent of his damage is still unknown.

For the spy fan, this is as good as it gets and as realistic as it gets. Cooper is almost too charismatic for the role of Hanssen, but if the movie were toned down any more it would be asleep. As it is, it simmers to a boil that resenates long after the credits role and makes you want to watch it again. Simply great.

Valentino

1977 - Ken Russell freely admitted that this movie was a mistake, but there is always something worth seeing in a Ken Russell film. In this case, we get the usual garish colorful splash of melodrama applied to the myth of silent film star Rudolph Valentino. Truth be told, there isn’t much I do know about Valentino, but that’s the point of a myth.

Valentino’s life takes center stage and, though probably as much fiction as fact, it is an interesting little life. Russell milks every moment (and myth) for what its worth throwing in a few good key names of the time for good measure. Massive splashes of color are the director’s trademark and he doesn’t let up. Felicity Kendall delivers a fine supporting role as the woman who discovering the Latin lover.

If you want facts about the star, read a book. Like Oliver Stone’s “The Doors” there isn’t much strict fact, but you do get the feeling that the reality is less important than the myth. What little fact exists (like the infamous powder puff incident) are presented in heavy time compression.

Five Days

Sadly, this should be a gripping important drama about the abduction of a woman, but for the fact that we’ve seen it so many times in crime dramas that the impact is just too muted by the medium itself. The problem is primarily that it seems lost in genre-trading. Is it a mystery? A family tragedy?

This might have been vaguely effective if it were a TV movie, but five episodes drags us along with characters and situations that seem … well, drawn out for the sake of filling up time. The question is, ultimately, at the end of the show, do we actually care? Though well filmed, conceived, and acted, I found myself drifting off during the numerous family digressions during the 3rd and 4th episodes. By episode 5, it was difficult to understand what the point of the show was in the first place.

Obviously a BBC prestige drama, HBO got in their hands into the mix.

TCM Archives - Forbidden Hollywood Collection, Vol. 2

The Divorcee / A Free Soul / Night Nurse

There’s a lot your grandparents never told you about the old days.

I’m currently watching through the excellent collection of pre-code Hollywood films -- the films made before the Hays office and the Catholic League of Decency stepped in to tamper down the sex and violence in films. If watching an old film makes you think that no one did anything slightly indecent before the 1960s, you should try watching this collection … and rethink the greatest generation.

“The Divorcee” and “A Free Soul” are two classic examples of the prevailing sexuality of the post stock market crash era. People wanted to see the rich and the libidinous and that’s just what Norma Shearer delivers in these two semi-morality tales. “The Divorcee” is clearly the best of them. Based on the 1929 Ursula Parrott novel "Ex-wife", Norma Shearer discovers that her husband has had an affair with another woman. Though he insists its “no big deal” it clearly is and she decides to “even their account.” Exposing the double standards of men and women, the husband clearly can’t take having been cheated on. Women are not supposed to do these things (even though its no big deal for a man.) Ultimately, the wife has many torrid affairs and returns to her husband and all is well.

“A Free Soul” sees Shearer gets involved with her drunken lawyer father’s gangster client (Clark Gable) and ultimately ends up costing the family and herself more than she could have ever imagined. There is a happy ending, but it seems so downbeat that you don’t even notice it.

“Night Nurse” is a Joan Crawford tale that twists and turns around her attempts to be nurse … and a good one at that. She soon discovers that she is to care for two children who are being killed slowly by a greedy shoffer (Clark Gable again) with designs on marrying the drunken wife and collect their trust fund. It turns out that an early friend in the underworld she made saves the day by … calling some guys and taking him for a ride. Essentially, he has him murdered. It is this kind of story that makes you wonder what people are thinking about when they make movies now.

Included are some good commentaries by movie history buffs (who sometimes make you laugh and sometimes make you wonder what audience they are talking to) and an excellent documentary of the entire process leading to the enforcement of the code in 1934.

I haven’t watched “Three on a Match” and “Female” so I expect to review those in future blogs.

Logan’s Run - Reissue

Anyone who knows “Logan’s Run” (and if you are of a certain age, you definitely do) you don’t need a recap of the plot. But here is one just for the sake of completeness:

Sometime in the 23rd century...
the survivors of war, overpopulation and pollution
are living in a great domed city, sealed away from the
forgotten world outside. Here, in an ecologically balanced world,
mankind lives only for pleasure,
freed by the servo-mechanisms which provide everything.
There's just one catch:
Life must end at thirty unless reborn in the fiery ritual of Carousel.

Everyone in the dome has a lifeclock in their hands and at the age of 30 they die (though they all think they are being reborn.) Logan is a Sandman who hunts and kills those who try to run. When he discovers an Anhk the computer sends him on a new mission. By removing his remaining years, he is to go under cover as a runner himself. The only problem is now he is really running.



There is a lot of semi-nude scenes and the first appearance of Farrah Fawcett.



The original DVD was issued as a barebones early release and many fans were looking forward to a restoration. Unfortunately, very little if anything was improved. The print looks the same and the anamorphic quality doesn’t actually seem enhance much of the spectacle that was the cream of the sci-fi crop prior to the release of Star Wars the next year.

In short, this is more of a double dip than anything. Even the original artwork was better than the reissue.

Cloverfield

Well, what can you say? Over-hyped? Yes, big time. This movie is accurately described as a combination of “Godzilla” and “The Blair With Project” … and all that is true. It has some of elements of “28 Days Later” in it as well, but that’s to be expected. But, if you accept that what you are going to see is not the greatest movie ever and a rather great contribution to the B-movie monster genre, then you are going to enjoy it. How could you not? Nothing is explained, everything is seen through a camcorder, and you only have the limited point of view of characters and their limited motivations. It is in fact more like real life than the huge 1997 “Godzilla” remake or the various remakes of “King Kong.”

Despite its POV style of filmmaking (not for those that get a bit dizzy when the camera giggles), this is a movie that does not cheat on the special effects. There are many and with the camcorder device to tell the story, we get a different view of the same old story of New York getting beaten to crap by a giant monster. What else do you want? Happy ending? Well, no, sorry.

Brought to you by the same company that makes "Lost" it isn't exactly a topper to the greatest American television series ever made, but at least it doesn't wuss out.

Angel-A

Luc Besson (“The Fifth Element” and “The Professional”) brings us an unusual twist on the angel stories of “Wings of Desire” and, especially, “It’s a Wonderful Life” with this French language black and white comedy with a heart.

Drowning in debt, without a Euro to his name and refused the benefits of the US green card he won in a lottery, André (Jamel Debbouze) decides the best thing for all concerned is to chuck himself into the Seine. Just as he is about to end it all on the Pont Alexandre III, however, he is interrupted by a beautiful blonde (Rie Rasmussen) who leaps in first. When he pulls her to safety, she offers to help him out of his current malaise.

Angela, of course, is no ordinary stunner, though it takes time for the skeptical André to realize she has latched onto him for a reason. The twist is that she needs him just as much as he needs her, if only to feel the emotional connections that divinity has denied her.

What we get is a movie that at first seems stylistic and emotionally distant (as most French films do) but draws us in with the heart of the film. It defies expectations and, if you don’t mind foreign language films, is just one of the most recommended films I have seen in years.

Battlestar Galactica

“He That Believeth in Me” and “Six of One”



Any fan of the newly reinvented BSG knows that each season is different and we also know that this, season four, is to be the final conclusion to the story. We know that all but one of the final five cylons were revealed in somewhat silly finale of last season with one left to be revealed. Baltar escapes conviction in his genocide trial, only to go into hiding with a group of fanatical followers who believe he is some kind of prophet. Oh, and Starbuck turns up claiming she’s found Earth.

Again, we are in a new and strange area with season four. Baltar does appear (at least in outwardly) to be some kind of healer and is now a believer in the one true god, but that doesn’t mean he averse to sleeping with his beautiful female followers. Starbuck is believed to be a cylon and claims that the continued jumping away from the nebula is taking the feeling away from her to find Earth again. Her ship is in pristine condition and thinks she’s only been away six hours (when in fact, she’s been believed dead for two months.)





By the time we get to episode two, the cylon raiders are refusing to attack the fleet and there is a division in the ranks of the seven cylon models whether or not to lobotomize them. In the end, Caprica Six decides to take matters into her own hands and turns the centurions to their cause and, it appears boxes the lines of a few of the models.






Like all seasons of BSG, there is a lot of moral ambiguity surrounding our characters and situations. Furthermore, there is the constant shifting of allegory (last season saw allusions to Iraq and “The Great Escape” with some rather unsettling twists.) Baltar as a Jesus figure is probably going to be one of the series’ most enduring contradictions. What will the remaining season bring is, frankly, anyone’s guess. However, I deeply suspect that the revelation of the final cylon will not be as truly interesting as what happens in the overall scheme of the plot.

Doctor Who - The Fires of Pompeii

8/10 - Up Pompeii (Yeah, I know)



Well, there’s nothing like a good old history story is there? “Its Pompeii … and its volcano day” is the line we’ve been waiting for since Captain Jack said it in 2005. It was almost inevitable. The Doctor and Donna arrive in what they think is ancient Rome and the usual "This is wonderful" scene ensues.



But, as usual, there is something not altogether right going on. As we long-time fans have come to expect, these historical adventures always have some alien influence (unlike the Hartnell days) and in Pompeii the Doctor finds that the soothsayers know a lot more than they should. (What is on Donna’s back?)

The aliens that landed centuries ago are reconstituting themselves into an invasion force … one that puts the Doctor in a very difficult position. There are a lot of great special effects and a good solid story that puts the morality of Doctor Who back into position. Donna comes across, again, as the voice of reason for the Doctor, but also understands the impossible choices he must make.

But, I have to add, that something about this story didn’t sit right with me. I can’t quite put my finger on it, so perhaps I should let it be for now. Some stories take time, while others (like “The Shakespeare Code”) seem wonderful on first viewing and become tiresome after multiple viewings.

Doctor Who - Partners in Crime

Its been a while since I last reported in, so I’ll have to make up for some lost time. But, in that, I can only start from today.

7/10 - Growing up Baby Fat



The return of Donna Noble from “The Runaway Bride” might have a lot of viewers vexed at our yelling comedian Catherine Tate bitching her way through an entire season, but this first episode shows a new (and yet old) dynamic entering into the new Doctor Who. However, Donna is a changed (somewhat) woman from when we last saw her and she’s looking for the Doctor. It is rather funny, then, that they spend half of the episode just missing each other. When they do meet, it might be the funniest moment in the history of the new series.

It is a light comedy about an alien breeding farm masquerading as a diet pill manufacturer. The Adipose are breeding a new generation out of the fat from human bodies. That all sounds pretty grim, but the “monsters” are so cute that this becomes very silly most of the time. In fact, it is a bit more like the children’s show “The Sarah Jane Adventures” (specifically the pilot “Invasion of the Bane”) than proper Doctor Who. It is only at the end that a good punch in the stomach of the coming season’s dark path.



Donna, in a classic comedy bit at the end, makes it very clear that, unlike Rose and Martha, she is not love with the Doctor and … at last … Doctor Who returns to total reset.

2007 – The Year in Film

Unlike last time, I’ll just stick to what I saw or have seen.

Jan

Smokin’ Aces (4/10)



Well, this was an acceptable waste of two hours. The new caper flick with all the Guy Ritchie cliché freeze frames and the endless countdown of character’s who’s fates become intertwined. I think my favorite part was when Ben Afflect died … but, hey, that’s just me. Oh, and “a straight-to-DVD prequel has been announced” according to wikipedia, so … there’s something.

Feb

Hannibal Rising (4/10) – This was, for all intents and purposes, the same movie as “Batman Begins” … except that Batman was fighting crime and not a psychotic cannible. It gave you some idea of how a person like Lector could have developed and sometimes even made you like him all the more. Much like the TV show “Dexter,” it portrays the killer as hero. I liked the film, though it was immediately forgetable. It further suffers from being the 4th (or 5th depending on how pedandic you are) in the Lector series of films.

Ghost Rider (3/10) – Nicolas Cage … Earth to Nicolas Cage … Where are you? Why are you making these big budget turds that seem to endlessly revolve around Los Vegas? Are you stuck in some Elvis time warp? Do you owe money to the mob?

This is a film about an Evil Kenvil type stunt man who becomes a flaming skull with a whip. I would say more, but there really isn’t more to say …

The Number 23 (3/10) – Well, certainly not the worst film of the year. Jim Carrey is very hard to take this seriously and the entire premise tends to hang on one of those trendy “White Noise” ideas (evil numerology), but it was worth a rent. I didn’t hate it and I definitely saw worse movies this year.

March

Black Snake Moan (7/10)



Well, everybody online was freaking out about this and from the poster you can clearly see why. Despite its obvious homage to blacksploitation of the 1970s and still touching interratial nerves everywhere, this film is actually about self-respect and one stranger helping another. It was, in short, much better than anyone expected … including me.

Zodiac (10/10)



Having just spent the weekend with the Director’s Cut DVD and seeing this movie for about the 5th time, I’m going out on a limb to say this is easily the greatest crime/thriller and historical film ever made. With the staggering attention to detail, the unsolved Zodiac killer story unfolds in front of us without all the hoopla of the usual psycho killer qu'est-ce que c'est bloodfest. In fact, all the killings take place within the first 40 minutes of the the almost 3 hour film. As they say in the commentaries, its best to use real facts because, like it or not, truth is stranger than fiction … and you’ll never hear Donovan the same way again.

300 (5/10) – It is hard to describe how I feel about this movie. Gay comes to mind. Cartoonishly gay. (Sarah Silverman famously said “Its called 300 because that’s how gay it was on a scale of 1 to 10”). It wasn’t until South Park parodied it did I realize how truly bizarre it was to lavish so much money and attention to, for all intents and purposes, a true reconstruction of a comic book (not actual history). It is a visual effects film. The plot, the characters, the truth, the legend … all backseat to some CGI Frank Miller masterbation. Worth seeing.

Shooter (6/10) – I don’t remember this ever being in the theaters, but rented it. Not a bad, if somewhat clichéd film.

Blades of Glory (2/10) – I did remember laughing once in this film, although I can’t for the life of me remember why. Will Ferrell is continuing his streak of great ideas not carried out to their logical conclusion and simply going for the obvious kick in the balls humor that we can all see coming for miles away. There isn’t anything clever here, even in the lowest of low-brow comedy senses. Its just pure not funny.

April

Grindhouse – I can’t rate Grindhouse because I didn’t see the true double feature. I’ve seen the two films, but without all the fake trailers they don’t seem as interesting or credible. The truth is their release as individual films on dvd is probably one of the dumbest moves ever made by a studio. I love Kurt Russell and his performance as Stuntman Mike in “Death Proof” might be my acting pick of the year.

The Hoax (8/10) – If you know anything about Howard Hughes or have seen Orsen Welles’ “F for Fake” then you probably knew this story a bit. Clifford Irving faked an autobiogaphry about recluse Howard Hughes in the 1970s and was famously exposed as a fraud. Richard Gere is actually one of my least favorite actors ever, but he delivers the goods as Irving here, I have to admit.

Disturbia (3/10) – Surprisingly watchable for such a cliché ridden flick.

Fracture (5/10) – Get’s the award for “Film that was most likely developed for Michael Douglas” of the year. Basically, rich old guy kills cheating wife … and almost gets away with it.

Next (3/10) – Again, what is going on with Nic Cage? This psuedo Phillip K Dick style “I can see two minutes into the future” (actually it says it is based on his short story “The Golden Man” and it shows … in a “Paycheck” way, not in a “Blade Runner” way) movie really makes no sense whatsoever … and will only lead you to hate other movies remotely like it.

May

Spider-man 3 – (5/10)



Way too much going on at this point in the spiderman universe and I really don’t care. I never quite caught spidermania and think the second one was the best, but this 3rd one seems to merely pull out all the tricks from one and two. Nothing new here, move along.

28 Weeks Later – (7/10) A very entertaining one time flick. I’ll probably watch this in five years and think, “Hey, I don’t remember any of this” and that’s why it is pretty good. I’m not much for horror flicks, but doomsday scenerios are always fun, especially the end of the world kind. Add to that Robert Carlyle and you have a pretty good reason to watch. This is the sequal to “28 Days Later” not “28 Days” … if you make that mistake, you will be disapointed.

Pirates of the Carribean: At World’s End – (6/10)




Well, it is a big story, but gone are those little character moments from the first film replaced by a bloated fantasy story shot so from the hip that the writers literally made it up as they went along.

Or you could believe this insane quote from director Gore Verbinski, "I felt it important that the third film was the end of an era — like in a postmodern western where the railroad comes and the gunfighter is extinct. It seemed that we had an opportunity to take a look at a world where the legitimate has become corrupt and there is no place for honest thieves in that society, so you have darker issues and a little melancholy. The myths are dying. That seemed a great theme with which to complete the trilogy."

Depp is great, but Bloom is, to use one reviewers description “Human Nyquil.”


June

Knocked Up (2/10) – Sorry folks, but I really hated this film. Not funny in any way whatsoever. Pathetic, in fact. From the makers of 40 Year Old Virgin … but it’s clearly missing something …. Oh, I know … the guy who was funny.

Ocean’s Thirteen (7/10) – Oddly enough, considering how much I resist these star-studded nightmares, I enjoyed this movie a lot. It could be the addition of Pacino who’s always great at the stunned lunatic role he’s been playing to perfection for years. It worked, don’t ask me why.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (6/10)



Apart from being a huge apology for the disasterous first FF film and the epic miscasting of … the entire cast, the addition of the Silver Surfer does give an additional edge to the FF that was missing before, but it is still flagging. In fact, how did this sequal get a greenlight in the first place?


June

Evan Almighty (4/10) – Yeah, one good joke in it (the Login’s and Massina gag that no one will get) the rest is just a really expensive bible comedy and an even lamer sequal.

Sicko (8/10) – Although I don’t like Michael Moore’s in your face style, he is right about this and watching this rather restrained film will make you open your eyes about the coorporate stranglehold on our medical system (as well as our entire way of life.) Sure, this doesn’t pack quite the news wallop that Ferenheit 9-11 did (something the Drudge’s and Limbaugh’s of the world rejoiced in), but then again, Bush was reelected after that film … so maybe something that seeps in slowly is really the way to go, eh?


July

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (6/10)



Oh, magical wondermental Harry Potter, I do declare Hogwarts is a magical place. I even saw the 3-d ending and found it somewhat a dreary trudge. The magic has worn off. So sorry.

Cashback (8/10) – I loved this film. Sentimental teen comedy about a young man who finds he can’t sleep and can even stop time after a breakup. Starring a lot of people in the British film and TV.

Sunshine (9/10)




A second candidate for movie of the year, though it falls short in several areas. The main problem is you really need to see this film on a huge motion picture screen to get the full vibe. It has all the regalness of 2001, but does fall short of the plot mark. Its scientific short-hand (or bits cut from the film) have annoyed fans of serious sci-fi and the movie is pretty predictable from a plot basis … but it is worth seeing someone do science fiction for real.

Rescue Dawn (7/10) – Glad to see Werner Herzog doing real films again (that Lock Ness thing was so lame) and he’s got a real actor in the form of Christian Bale. A fighter pilot shot down in the early days of the Vietnam, is taken prisoner, forced to eat magots, escapes, watches his buddy get chopped up … hard to say it was enjoyable, but it was good.

The Simpsons Movie (7/10) – I suppose the main problem with the Simpsons movie is that about 23 minutes into it you can’t help but think “Man, when is this episode going to end?” Unlike the South Park movie, the Simpsons simply waited far too long to get around to their cinematic debut. In fact, I can’t remember much about it … a glass dome and Homer on a motorcycle … that’s about it. I laughed, I cried, I paused it frequently …


August

The Bourne Ultimatum (9/10) – Another kick ass Jason Bourne movie, though a little … blue. Its all about color grading, I guess. What works in this Bourne film is that it fills in the little gaps of logic from the second film instead of attempting to just continually string along the concept linearly. Yes, there is the annoying amnesia gimmick and the sad attempt to force a romance into the storyline with the Julia Styles running character, but all in all, this is just another good action spy flick. No one kicks ass with a book like Bourne.

Ball of Fury (3/10) – Barely funny, but funny enough. Basically, if you put James Hong in a film it will be funny …


September

3:10 to Yuma (7/10) – Well, it wasn’t great. It wasn’t terrible either. My main concern with the film is that … frankly, I don’t know why anyone is doing anything. The motivations are all over the board. Wha … why? Who? Good to see the wester crop back up, but since the western is essentially an American artform, it also would have been nice if the two stars were also American. Just a thought.

Shoot ‘Em Up (2/10) – A very tedious film that has very few redeeming characteristics. We’ve seen it all before …

Eastern Promises (6/10) – Frankly, this type of movie really makes me uncomfortable. First, yes, it is good, but it is kind of obscure … Russian mofia and teen slave trading … Not your first choice for a fun night at the flicks. Viggo is … well, always going to be Aragorn from Lord of the Rings, no matter how hard he tries … and he’s trying pretty hard in this one.

Resident Evil: Exctinction (5/10) – for the this genre jumping series, the final “Mad Max” chapter is much better than the “Kirk Fights the Gorn” middle chapter.


October

Michael Clayton (7/10) – An excellent political legal thriller that will confuse the easily confused. The first part of the film is disjointed, but any viewer will know that you’ll get your explanations by the end. While I did like this a lot, it left me with a bit of a hollow feeling … like it didn’t mean much. And, maybe it doesn’t. Movies about lawyers … there has to be a better way to live.

Elizabeth: the Golden Age (6/10) – A sequel to Elizabeth, Cate Blanchett once again does a powerhouse turn as the Virgin Queen … sadly, as it is history, much of the history has been botched in order to create a better “movie” story … while failing to do just that. Let’s face it, why make an historical film if you don’t want to tell the real story?

Control (7/10) – Joy Division singer Ian Curtis is memorialized (again) in this grainy b/w flick that probably captures the feeling of Manchester in the late 70s. The main problem with the film is simple – there is not going to be a good ending. However, still a good movie.

Saw 4 (6/10) – Yes, I will watch the Saw movies. I like the idea behind them. Horror movies don’t scare or shock me. Even the fake violence is getting to the point where I’m more interested in how they faked it than actually getting me to gross out. Still, I didn’t see this in the theater.


November

No Country for Old Men (10/10) – while not my favorite of the year, certainly the odds on favorite for the oscar. The Coen Bros. once again defy expectations and linear story telling to give the audience a meditation on psychosis and violence. Like “Zodiac,” this movie is about modern evil. While Zodiac was probably the birth of the modern killer and modern terror, this film is the ultimate extension of that senseless brutality. Ironically, the most modern movie about modern violence is set in very isolated parts of Texas as if evil has finally extended its finger deep into the world we know today. In the end, this might be a bigger film than “Fargo” in the Coen’s lexicon.

I’m Not There (8/10)



Frankly, this movie is really hard to describe. I just know I love it. It is a biography of the “mythological” Bob Dylan in which he is played by no less than six different actors … and actresses. Cate Blanchett is pretty mystifying as the late 60s incarnation, the electric prophet, the Judas of folk. There is nothing weirder than watching Cate do Dylan doing “Ballad of the Thin Man.” But, even with that, I still have to say Richard Gere (what’s going on this year with him) as the mythological retired gunfighter version of Dylan that bookends the piece really took me to a strange place. Is or was Dylan ever really There?


December

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (7/10) – Normally I’d pass on a musical, even one as weird as this, but the combo of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp made that impossible. Admittedly there were bits that I found annoying, but it was just twisted enough to keep me entertained.

The Bucket List (6/10) – Pretty much what you would expect, which isn’t to say it is a bad film … merely a by-the-numbers film about a couple of guys who are going to die trying to do everything they always wanted to do.